Day 13

Trapped

I feel alone, trapped.
I don't know what to do.
I can't figure out what there is to do.
I fell sick to the stomach.
I can't figure out why.
I cry because I know he is leaving, why can't I stop?
I miss him terribly, but he is caught by his own wave.
I feel like I'm the one crashing upon the shore.
He cannot feel my pain because he is mentally distracted.
I wait here for hours.
I hear things that I shouldn't.
I still can't believe what I hear.
I want to tell someone, but I am trapped.
What I heard can hurt two people, but should the truth be told?
I'm afraid to say anything.
I don't want the happiness to fade between them.
What am I supposed to do?
I can't fix the loneliness.
Too far apart we drift away.
Like two little sea boats floating in the bay.


I couldn't put my thoughts into a paragraph, so I had to write a poem.
It's very confusing.
It's not about just two people. It's about five people. It starts off with a young couple. Then, it goes to people who have dated before. They still have a little bit of passion for each other, but don't do anything about it. They are now good friends. The girl has a boyfriend and what the boyfriend doesn't know is that his girlfriend has kissed her ex. The boyfriend is a very sensitive and I am afraid to tell him because I do not know what will happen between them. I like to see her happy, but I hate knowing that shes ruining her relationship. That's when I become stuck and don't know what to do. Then, it goes back to the young couple in the beginning. It's pretty obvious how I actually feel.

Thank You!

Day 12

Ciao Popoli

It has been a while since I have posted a blog.
It's early in the day and I have nothing else better to do and my show isn't on so that's what makes my day duller.
The thing that is annoying me at the moment is that I wanted to go to the website that has pictures of the show I like to watch, Project Runway.
I wanted to show Travis pictures of a guy on the show named Christian. He looks like one of his good friends from school. He acts like him, he somewhat looks like him. It's just really cool.


I really wish I had friends that would come over. It's just so boring these days, and the Christmas break is going by so quickly. It seems like it was New Years yesterday. It's amazing how time is going by so fast when I'm not even doing anything important. You can tell I was bored today, I watched two shows that you would usually never see me watching, All American Housewives & Fat Camp. I still can't believe I watched both of those shows. Travis is usually playing around with his friends and I'm usually doing nothing. He doesn't talk to me much because I usually tell him I don't want to be on the phone. He is like one of those people who stop by your house just to tell you "Hi!" and then never leave and they stare at you and don't talk. They just sit there and wait for you to start a conversation. It's amazing how he hasn't learned that I don't talk much. I only talk when something has a long story behind it. Apparently that doesn't happen often. I'm trying to let his mistakes slide by, but that stupid saying, "Learn from your mistakes" isn't getting to him yet. I'm his first girlfriend and I can understand why he makes so many, but by now I thought he would of learned, but his mind is too caught up with his friends and games. He gets mad at me when I talk about my one of my good friends because my friend compliments me and the sad part about it is that my friends compliments were said to me a long time ago. I just refer to them to make me happy when I feel somewhat sad. Everyone needs to be complimented every once in a while.

I'm not emo.

Bravotv.com is so freaking slow.
I need to get a picture from it, but it's like a turtle.
There are no important people on myspace right now, so that makes it even worse.
The page won't load.
It's still on the home page.
It's like having AOL all over again.
YUCK!
I have an idea.
I'll write the rest in Italian.

Questa pagina è carico sono lentamente.
Vorrei qualcosa a che fare.
Hanno bisogno di aggiornare il proprio sito web o qualcosa del genere.
Ancora attesa.....
Così vicino a quello che mi serve.
Infine, è di cominciare a caricare più velocemente.
Molto Random .....
Amo Travis!
^_^
Do not use babblefish.com it is incorrect.
:P

I think that's enough Italian for today.

I got the pictures!
^-^












Take out the cheesy smile and it does look like him in some kind of way.


This picture was funny, so I had to put it on here.
This is what you call shocked.

Announcement

Travis and I will not be posting anything this week because of Christmas. There hasn't been any special events happening lately so there has been no blogs. The only newer thing that I have for you is one of my new pictures. Happy Holidays even though Christmas is over.
^-^



No editing.
It was random, so don't consider this one of my supposed to be good pictures.

Day 11

Saluti!
Today was another boring day as usual. ^-^

First hour - Darn, I forgot.

Second hour - Yeah, that too!

Third hour - Same thing as yesterday.

Fourth hour - Learned more about math.

Fifth hour - Lots of Science worksheets.

Sixth hour - I hung out with different people today. I had to get away from Alaynie. Whitney is a life saver. ^-^

Seventh hour - We watched a movie and did sequencing while we watched it.

I wish I wouldn't have done what I did to Travis!
Travis, I'm so sorry. I have been making you do things that makes you cry or makes you mad. I'm sorry for making you do those things. I wish I could take them all back and turn them into pain towards me. I love you so much and I would kill myself just to save you. I love you and I don't think you know that. I love you so god damn much babe and I hope you realize that I will never do anything stupid enough to risk our relationship besides what happened today. I'm terribly sorry for that. I love you so much. Please forgive me!





I took this picture while Travis was standing right by my side. ^-^
That's what makes this picture so awesome.

Day 9

Buon Pomeriggio
Today was another one of those days that just makes you want to beat someone in the head with a metal baseball bat. It was also boring and dumb.

First hour - Took a test on my A/R book and I missed one, so I got a good amount of points.

Second hour - We went to the nursing home and sang Christmas carols and passed out cookies to the old people. It was fun for a little while until I helped with the bananas and they smelled like butt. It was such a terrible smell. It lingered with me until next hour, gross.

Third hour - I finally got some hand sanitizer from my French teacher. We did the same exact thing as yesterday. We talked about random things and didn't do work because we were still working on a project.

Fourth hour - Same as yesterday!

Fifth hour - Listened to Mr. Bertrand tell us about our assignment. He let us watch a movie yesterday on glaciers and take notes as we watched it. Well, today we had to take those notes and make a summary of all the things we took notes on. It was probably the worst assignment he has ever given us. In college you have to do the same thing. So basically he is making us do college work. It's not difficult but it takes forever.

Sixth hour - Listened to Alaynie teach Marrissa how to be just like her. She told me that yesterday. Here is the conversation we had.

Alaynie: I'm going to make a mini me.
Caitlin: How are you going to do that?
Alaynie:Well, it has to deal with W E E D.
Caitlin:Um OK?
Alaynie: Yeah, I'm going to make Marrissa my mini me. She already learned the attitude and now I'm gonna teach her other things. Should I introduce her to Mat?
(Mat is my Ex. He does lots of drugs. He vandalizes other peoples things...as I've heard. He sneaks out at night to find someone or something that contains weed, cigarettes, beer, etc. He is currently dating a 18 yr old who apparently doesn't realize that he is 14 and that it is illegal to date someone younger than you without your parents approval. She is blond and that might be why she is dating him. I know for a fact that Mat's parents didn't approve. In my eyes, the only reason why they are dating is because Mat's friends John and Dreux both quit doing drugs and now he has no one to get drugs from. So now he is using miss ugly bitch to get drugs for him. Wow, what an asshole.
Caitlin:~silence~
Alaynie:Does this make me a good person?
Caitlin:Well, only good people do good things, and what your doing isn't good at all. Good people don't teach people how to do dumb shit that can risk their lives. Only a cold hearted person would bring someone into the dark with them.
Alaynie:Well, idk.

Now today...we had no conversation.
All my friends are going down hill, and I'm still way at the top. I don't have any friends who don't drink or do any type of drugs. I'm not including my REAL friends. My real friends are in a grade higher than me. I can't hang out with anyone who won't do drugs or wants to have sex because all these little 8th graders want something shoved up their ass. I know for sure that I can't be the only one who is different from them.
No one knows how much it sucks to have a second shadow follow you around all the time complaining about the same exact shit everyday, 10 times a day. I can't get rid of it. It never leaves me alone. That second shadow is Alaynie. I can't even just sit down for a few moments without her saying, "Talk!" I don't talk as much as I used too, so it's hard to even think of something important to say. She wants too much god damn attention. I hate people like that, and I'm starting to hate her. A lot of people keep telling me to just tell her off or quit being her friend. Well, its not that simple. It's really hard. She knows a lot about me and I know a lot about her. If she ever planned on telling my secrets...I would tell her dad what she had done. I seriously despise her. She's just like Jessie. She will let anyone touch her and won't care how far they go. No telling how many guys she has actually screwed. She's a fucking whore and she knows it. I can't wait till I can actually give her some advice that will make her go and actually do it. She will end up killing herself. I really can't wait till this week finally ends.

Thanks babe, you really help me when I seriously need help. ^-^
The Fucking End!

Day 9

Ciao!
I know what your thinking, "It's about time she finally typed a blog!" lol
Sorry about that. I haven't been feeling in the mood lately. If only today was a good day then it would be a whole lot better.

First hour - Mrs. Roberts didn't come to school today so it was a lot nicer because there was finally silence and some laughter without any pain or grief.

Second hour - Almost the same thing as first hour except we did some reading. Boring as hell.

Third hour - We sat around in French and gossiped.

Fourth hour - I finally started getting things wrong in math. It was so different.

Fifth hour - Watched a movie on glaciers and had to take notes because we have to write a summary about it.

Sixth hour - We played basketball until they told us to get dressed. It was BORING! 

Seventh hour - A Louisiana history test. I think I might of gotten a good grade. ^-^ Yay!

That's what happened at school. Too much drama and not enough energy to type it all. I don't want to get into a bad mood just by typing how I feel. BTW... me and Travis made 9 months today and we are still loving eachother just as much as we did when we first met. ^-^ If anyone interrupts it...I'm kicking their ass!
Thanks, have a nice day/night!
Dolci Sogni e Buona Notte!

Day 8

*Skipped*
A few words to describe my day....
Very fun.
Travis made my day so much fun!
^-^
I love you babe!